he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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