I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
