The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
