1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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