doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
