That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Houston, we have a blender
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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