I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
love makes seman taste better
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
