i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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