Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize