She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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