I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Randomize
