Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
