Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
