Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
