I don't remember. Are we still dating?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
