There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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