WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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