yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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