Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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