he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
