I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
