what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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