i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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