Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
