When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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