Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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