But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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