if you like me you must not know who I am
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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