Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
