I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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