i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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