I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
