Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
