theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
