Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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