Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Randomize
