Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
i drank out of a bidet.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
