No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
