don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
When are your genitals available?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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