Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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