Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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