we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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