Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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