No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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