she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I cockslap morals
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize