I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
where are my eyebrows?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize