I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
