it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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