apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
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