i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
