I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
