GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
do herpes really smell.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize