You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
