the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
