oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
