maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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