wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
