Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I feel great
I just peed on a car
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize