i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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