i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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