Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
there is puke in my bra ... again
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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