Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
